Ill Start Backwards, My therapist says that's probably best and then i may actually forget some of the stuff that has happened :0/ Good evening Mr Radford by the way.
Ok Backwards, i erm just sucked up my hair with the Dyson, not an unusual accident for someone like me to have , but a painful one, i often wondered why nothing above 5ft was clean in my house and now i know why, its far too dangerous to attempt to clean it, although on the Dyson advert it does not say 'Beware if you are trying to kill that hard to reach spider, this product may catapult from your reach and land upon your head sucking your very long hair inside it' Nope didn't see 'that' anywhere, now i have a short bit of hair and a red scalp, well that's very bloody attractive i don't think.
With not only this to contend with my Cat Graham (shes a girl cat if your wondering and shes grey) the daughter of Asbo cat, the most feared cat on the block. Got erm preggers one Saturday night on the patio, all a bit unfortunate we gave her other offspring away, and her cheap sparkly tart collar is now firmly in the bin. Anyway sorry back to what i was trying to say. Graham coughed up the biggest reddest carpet filled fur ball i have ever seen, well actually i didn't see it and stepped Right on it. If anythings gonna make you feel sick on a Friday night that will.
The hot one daughter number 2 has been off school all week ill, that doesn't help my poor artist status as i have put bugger all work out this week, although i could tell she was getting better when she catapulted a mans head in tesco's with her new sponge bob catapult :0/
Number 1 daughter who has breathing troubles is quite well too I'm glad to say, and i could tell 'that' by the way she duffed up daughter number one for scribbling on her best coloring book :0/
Also i just have to mention that daughter number 2 is going to be prime minister one day, all though her political views are somewhere to the left of Hitler which is quite worrying (JOKING before you all gasp with political correctness of blogging) I will just give you an example though, we were driving past the police station today when she asked me if 'crinnymals' actually sleep in the police station to which i replied yes, 'On beds???' she asked, yes i replied 'oh my god you'll be telling me they feed them next!!!!' she then ranted on about Drill yards?? and breaking rocks?? I'm unsure where she gets these ideas but my god if shes ever prime minister the smallest of criminals will be sent straight to guantanamo bay no questions asked.
On the way back from this said journey past the police station i saw my smiley friend Clare, the second human being id seen smiling on this day, and i was glad. The sun was shining and i thought yeah its Friday its a good day.
Till i got home and saw that the cat (asbo ) had stepped in red paint and walked across my studio, not that it makes much difference as the pink blobs from last week are still ground in to the carpet, why do i have a carpet, a cream one in my studio??? i dunno probably because I'm a bit thick.
God i feel this is getting a little boring now so i may have to miss Thursday out, my car tried to kill me again on this day though, by steaming up the windscreen again, I'm kinda thinking it may be my dog breath though, it only happens when I'm breathing,. Memo to me don't breathe in the car when its cold.
Blagh blagh cant remember anything else about Thursday, had a long chat with small persons number 2's doctor (hes a bit of alright) did a bit of painting, actually spent the day painting my lovely friends husband, He probably thinks I'm well weird i had to get a good old look at his face the other day in the name of research, he probably thinks i need some kind of help :0/
Before that By big boy missed the bus to school, thankfully the head teacher of 1 and 2 girls was passin by and gave him a lift, (village life fabaroony for stuff like that!!)
So we are at the end. Back to Thursday morning at 7.20 am when i was overtaken by some kind of alien force and actually went out running ?? I was cool until the dog did a massive poo outside the car wash, then i was running with the mentalist dog in front like a husky, and a massive carrier bag full of poo in my hand. Typical.
Anyway I'm flimmin bored now i has to go and drink wine/ eat Chinese, am off to cadbury world tomorrow and am very much looking forward to meeting the oompaloompas and sailing down the chocolate river in a boat
TTFN xx
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