Tuesday 31 May 2011

Armageddon My Arse

........................... Well i erm feel a little embarrassed as i write to you today and can only apologise for the blog delay. :0(  1,495 secret readers and 2 new brave souls wot have outed themselves, (much appreciated Heather MG and Robert P)
Well the truth is i didn't write my blog last Friday because i thought the world was going to end!!. So convinced was i that I made no mental notes of unfortunate significant happenings in the week and so cannot remember an awful lot of it, only that it was pretty much a load of shit  :0(
        Today i greet you from the misery of what is me, i am so miserable you wouldn't believe, being pregnant i have decided is horrible i am to say the least not enjoying myself at all :0(  Everything smells bad, Everything is rubbish, Everyone is getting on my nerves and i am not laughing at all, i am officially a grumpy old woman. :0(  and i feel about 104.
           Foolish now i may feel but i didn't see the point in writing my blog as probably in a blown up universe no one was going to read it.
     Apart from may be a couple of Armageddon surviving armadillos wearing helmets in an air raid shelter with access to the Internet somewhere far far away........ and quite frankly they were not worth the effort because i hate them too.
        That's what this weeks been really an 'effort'. I am also having to catch up with all of last weeks 'life' stuff because i just didn't bother doing any of it. Well if there is a chance of the world ending what miserable sensible person would ? Small person 3 was of the same opinion as me and didn't bother doing her homework either, I'm not sure her teacher saw it as a good enough excuse though :0/
Well the day came and we hid under the duvet on the instructions of Small person number 3 who knows about these things because she has been learning about war at school, we waited and ........... Nothing.
        So here i am with not much to say and too much to do I am just glad to say that they are all finally back at school.
        The skivalitus virus i spoke of in the last blog, you know the one Child 3 imaginary had, to get out of her Sat's at school? Has I'm sorry to say got child 2 in to an awful lot of trouble this week, so much in fact that many hours  were spent in the hospital. Since then we have been nebulised every 3 hours, phyisiotherepyed until my arms nearly fell off, medicated up to the ceiling and child 2 has ingested more steroids than a dodgy athlete trying to win the Olympics :0(
This i can tell you is not a  agreeable situation to someone wot is still as tired as me :0( and as sick as me
:0( and as hungry as me :0( There has been no time to eat, no time to sleep, and no time to puke :0( A thoroughly horrid week of my most hated things, the top of that list  being snot, sick and hospitals.
        As you can imagine id had enough by Friday and was kind of looking forward to Armageddon ......... Miraculously by Friday evening i managed to pull some energy from somewhere, where i have no idea and i haven't seen any since. Energy that was To attend a friends hen night, missing the limo ride there and back due to possible small person 2 emergency's. I drove my fat miserable self there and back, accompanied by my faithful friend Kimbo (who also missed the limo too) but that was because she was being kind to me, 'The unfortunate' 'again'. She did however have a rather smashing glass of champagne on the way, which made me feel a little better, we parked up and walked for 15 minutes in 3 inch heals to the wrong pub !! :0( we did however get asked for id which was Rather smashing as we are 76 between us, but only collectively about 9ft tall so you do the maths, because i can't work it out? :0/
          I thankfully made it to the dancing at the end, stayed awake for the drive home, met a massive stag in the road just outside Bisley and spent the entire night on insomniac island :0/
         The weekend was a right off to be honest and i wallowed about being miserable, feeling terribly sorry for my tired sick self. :0(
         Monday was interesting, The boy child is taking his final exams at the moment and had one upon this day, although I'm slightly worried as apparently they are a lot harder than the mocks :0/ , unfair i feel, I'm just hoping he still gets all of his stars :0/
 Erm again if the 'department for working pensions' is reading this Can i get a benefit of some kind for my genius boy child?? £100 per A is what grammar school parents are supposed to cough up nowadays, having a straight A student is a little worrying as my bank account resembles the black hole of Calcutta.
        Despite other leeches hanging on and draining my overdraft i discover this week that a cheque of mine I had written and thought had gone away was lost but now found.. UN cashed....... from January fec!!!. Another unexpected bill to add on to the crap list of things wot greets me on insomniac island every night. If any ones got any get rich quick schemes let me know and quickly.
Another thing to bug me on this said Monday nights adventures on insomniac island, was the fact that my last blog had disappeared off line for 2 days :0/  aaaaaagggghhhh i had no clue where it went.
       Insomniac island is often a place where reality becomes worse and dreams become more real. By the end of my time there i was convinced that James Dyson was going to sue my ass off because of slanderous talk about his crapalishouis Hoover, slagged off to kingdom come in my said dissappeared blog :0/ I could just see his legal team all over it noting words like 'wot crap' 'Bollocks' and doesn't suck up Animals :0/
Well Just for the record James 'Its not you its me' ;0) I've had nine hoovers in so many years and they have all been crap :0(
        Talking of that 'allegedly' crap hoover of mine, i was angered by its eagerness this week to hoover up half a bag of fruitellas, (NEVER COME BETWEEN A PREGNANT TERMINATER AND HER FRUTELLAS) firstly they did not fit in the inside spinney thing well and secondly i was really looking forward to eating them :0(
         really wanted them........... I spent 20 minutes trying to get the little suckers out of those spinney brush things, i did get them out though and because they were a little scorched the sweet smell of fruitellas wafted about the air, making me want to eat them even more.......... Well they 'were' still in the wrappers yes they were squashed and the wrappers were a little black in places where they were  burnt. but they was the only frutellas in the house, my pregnant brain said 'do it eat them' my normal brain said 'no don't you dirty cow'. Luckily the boy child walked in in the nick of time as i was inspecting one of them out of its wrapper. I didn't want to explain really what i was doing and so sadly chucked the lot in the bin :0( ........... but they are still there ;0)
 I have been eating like a pig for 3 months solid. i cant stop, if i stop i feel sick. I am now breaking Guinness world records, last Wednesday i ate a whole stick of rock driving between my  house and town. (its a mile and a half :0/ )
           Knowing that i will be about 20 stone soon i make a consious effort to take the dog out every single morning for a long run on the common. Well she runs i walk behind with the ball thrower. Labradors are bread to fetch are they not?, they are retrievers, so why the hell is it that when i throw the ball she doesn't see where it lands and i end up retrieving it??  either that or she actually catches the ball but then chews it to pieces refusing to give it back :0/ 
        To add to this silliness we now have the 'summer' problem  Oh yes they have released 500 cows on to the common land. 500 stinky cows and 50 moody golfers each morning is what i have to contend with (I'm only trying to keep fit) i don't need the stresses they bring thank you very much.
         They (the golfers) stare at me as i walk across the fairway, but who's the stupid one??? 'Me' who gets to walk across the fairway for 'free' searching for balls, or 'them' who pay 100's of pounds a month to walk across the fairway searching for balls???
I do agree though that it was a little unfortunate that i did not have a poo bag on that particular occasion :0/ But then again if they owned the fastest cow chaser this side of china they would risk the chance of golf balls in the head to avoid a stampede. Ive been chased by a cow before and it was not pleasant. Boy 40 being a farmers son isn't the slightest bit afraid of cows, I've been forced to walk through many a dangerous cow field, only last year did i have to dive under a hedge row to save my own life :0(  His mother is neither afraid only a few weeks ago 40 odd cows broke over the wall and stampeded her garden.......... she shooed them off fearlessly with a stick :0/
         I'm having problems going up to see her at the mo, i cannot do the farmy cow poo smell,  normally the stench is bad enough but if your feeling travel sick 24 hours a day it does not mix well, I'm not sure of what excuse to use though it seems a bit unfair to say 'sorry granny i cant bring the kids up because of the terrible poo smell wot surrounds your house' :0/  but what can i do?
       I have a list of sorry but i cants at the moment, 'sorry i cant open the dishwasher because it smells' sorry i cant open the fridge it smells of fridges' 'sorry i cant feed the out side pets because they smell of ..... out side pets' 'sorry i can't feed the cats because their food smell of spam' 'sorry i cant clean the toilets, because they smell of toilets' 'sorry my face looks like a slapped ass' the list goes on and its making life very difficult, child 3 doesn't help, its not her fault its just the nature of how she is, only Saturday we were in the beer tent chatting to friends at the yearly 'Grand village fete'
 and there she was picking her nose and eating it :0/ as well as being embarassing its just turned my stomach right over :0(
      The previous Wednesday i was sorting out some things not really paying attention when she asked me if she could go down the canal, erm yes i suppose we can later i said, it was at that moment i turned round to see that she was wearing a wet suit?? Child three to be honest is my only source of amusement at the moment i found myself thinking back to her antics over the past few months and thought i could write a bloody good book about them. The first chapter would be called, 'Why i do that face'. this chapter would include the time she fell out of my car in the summer and crawled across the the car park, like a 999 rescue as if id shut her in there for hours, another would be when she got hideous amounts of clay out of the river down at a local park, it was a hot day and the day of the scarecrow hunt, this is a yearly thing, its an event many enjoy where you ramble about the village / the river etc searching for scarecrows  the villagers have made, we took the dog and a picnic.
       The place was packed as per usual, child 3 discovered that the shallow river in which all of the kids play contained vast amounts of brown clay, deciding she would like to make some pots when she got home she started filing up carrier bags with it, you can imagine the state of her, she then decided to spread the said clay all over her small chubby face. This was all very well until we decided to walk home :0/
 There she was with the dog, a massive bag of 'brown stuff' and brown stuff all over her face. The looks she recieved were quite strange to say the least. Being a very hot day it was decided to take the now aptly named 'poo face' and the other two to the pub on the way home for a coke. We sat out side I did not enter the establishment as i was far too embarrassed. She sat there with her dog, the carrier bag by her feet and was now finding her predicament very funny, each time a nice family searching for scarecrows walked by she would smile at them then she would say........... yes it is poo. Or to give herself further amusement she would shout at child 2 saying 'dont call me poo face it wasn't my fault' then she would cry in her hands.
      This was typical example of me doing 'that' face, its a sort of vacant expression, an 'i cant help it, its her,' kind of expression. I have it on my face most of the time now, seeing as I'm not working due to being so sick and child 2's ups and downs I'm seriously considering putting pen to paper, if one thousand four hundred and summat people are reading this shite i surely stand a good chance ? and of course other options at the moment are very limited. On balance of fairness if i have to put up with this kind of mad life i should be rewarded for it, i at least expect some kind of certificate when my eventual demise comes. Only last week it was said by a friend that my last march tune should be the Benny Hill theme tune :0(
           Anyway enough of me your probably all bored to tears, i shall be taking notes this week of unfortunate happenings and will report them as per usual next time........... Now that is that the world is not actually ending until 2012
Until next time dudes xx
:0(
            

 

Friday 13 May 2011

The Apprentice i am, Waiter is that a fly in my soup? And there’s no use in crying over lost coleslaw :0/

Hey How the devil are you all?
A small explosion is happening! Total viewers as to may 9th at 5.43 pm is 'One Thousand Three Hundred and 89' OMFG you can't all be counsellors, psychiatrists, social services The Rspca, stalkers and weirdos, surely some of you must be normal, i mean on a percentage basis?        
          Anyway i thought id make a start now in between eating, crying, throwing up and sleeping, yes thanks boy 40 you've turned me in to an emotional, fat, tired, sick machine (and  he's supposed to love me!) Being pregnant is pants and now i know exactly why i left so many years in between child 1, 2 and 3. 
Most days i feel like the Terminator PMT has nothing on this and when I'm not so flimmin tired i will write another Guide. A guide to surviving pregnancy, or a 'Daddys' guide to surviving pregnancy........... I will soon have enough pull out guides to have my own stand in G.Ps surgery's.
       Last weeks blogget concentrated mainly on my evil Goblins and my crap holiday. Well they are still there and their first job  this week was to kill 2 of my goldfish :0(
I was carefully popping them down the Heaven Du toilet, when to my horror child 3 walked in the room. 'Mum what are you doing?' 'erm well I'm letting the old fishes swim off down the toilet because the water goes directly to the sea where they get transported buy a flying golden boat to heaven! (quick thinking hey?)
    ' What do you mean mum them was new fishes, we only got them a little while ago' .........i managed to persuade her that they must have been old men fish when we bought them, alas this is not the only fish death this year, :0( poor old googley eyes sadly departed not long before the new ones arrived, there was only so many times he could jump out of that bowl :0(
      Child 3 was then very interested in this heavenly process and watched. They magically whizzed around and around as they departed down the toilet to the after world. She was sure she saw stars and fairy dust, i think that was just the remains of the duck toilet bomb i had deposited down it the day before.
      'So then mum' she said holding one of the cats, 'erm so when the cats die do we stick them down there too? ' Frankly nothing would give me more pleasure i thought, but explained that we would need a very big plunger and possibly a stick. (I'M ONLY JOKING RSPCA) Child 3 took the cat away very quickly, she was laughing as she went by the way, just in case social services are reading too ;0)
      Actually though Asbo cat really needs to learn about cat personal safety before something happens to her. I spent quarter of an hour trying to park my car the other day, she drives me nuts!!! When i arrive home she is there. Every time! she must have some freaky 6th sense or something. I need to park in my space its the only space i have, so firstly as i pull in she will come up to the car and do that rubby head thing on the front wheels, then as i try to manoeuvre she will roll around behind the back wheels, Then proceed to sit her small hairy ass right in the middle of the space. Grrrrrrrrr The only thing i can do then is get out and put her in the car, em only on this particular unfortunate day the escape windows were open, the escape electric windows :0(......... it was a very close call. Quick thinking or not as it turned out, i tried to  shut up that window before she jumped out..........she had the same idea, lucky for her she was the quickest :0/ and then the whole sorry  process started again, ............ That day i parked my car on the road , may be i should get that cat psychiatrist in after all i wonder if he saw Graham about her poo problem he would see Asbo for free?
       It seems that this week is mostly concentrated on Animals, The Dyson animal was the next disaster, At the moment I'm more tired than a dead mouse with narcolepsy.
I don't need that stupid hoover to go wrong, but as the evil ones are obviously still out to get me they sabotaged that as well. I was so angry, after messing about with it for 20 minutes, i posted on twitter, "I hate my Dyson Animal it wont even suck up a feather never mind a flimmin animal." i also made some comment about it not sucking up an elephant......... 2 seconds later the official Dyson help website replied saying they were sorry that my machine had lost suction!!!!! :0( I was slightly embarrassed by this and was worried that trying to suck up elephants would affect my warranty :0/  .............. They advised me to wash the filters, i did this and it still wouldn't suck up elephants, i mean anything. So i then proceeded to unscrew the entire god awful machine in search of a blockage. Following some banging, poking, kicking and much violence i put it back together again, and by some miracle it worked :0/ Please don't tell boy 40 i did that though he won't like it :0/
             The next furry animal disaster was the day child 3 covered herself from head to toe in Biro, apparently she was disguising herself as the Gruffalo ??, this was all very well but it was 8.00pm on Sunday evening the chances of a Gruffalo turning up at school on Monday morning were very high. .............. it didn't come off, the Gruffalo incident followed another Sunday goblin attack. Never leave your Sunday dinner meat on the side in the kitchen if you have two cats, especially cats as asbotic as mine, Sunday was a very hungry day :0(
            I also went hungry on Monday because after 2 hours of preparing a meal, retrieving the boy child from his girlfriends (after boy 40 had waited for him for ages then presumed he was at home) . A massive fly landed right on my plate, this is not agreeable to my situation at the moment because 1. i need to eat hideous amounts of food, and 2. a fly landing on my plate would make me feel very very sick. Beef stroganoff with roasted vegetables and sweet potatoes with an assortment of spring vegetables! 2 flimmin hours it took me and i ended up with a pot noodle :0/  My brain has turned inside out since joining the 'pregnant' club this week i forgot to by car tax, forgot a hospital app with child 2 also left child 2's shoes outside in a tropical rainstorm on a Sunday night and cried because we ran out of coleslaw :0(
           I'm not expecting improvement anytime soon either child 3 was accused of skiving on Tuesday because the school were sitting Sat's, although she is a master of trickery she did actually have a temperature and was not well at all, this has now transferred its self to child 2 who currently has a temperature of 39 c and as we know she will be poorly for ages now :0(  .............crap.
          So that's that really, life at the moment consists of evil goblin's, television, ill people, and hideous amounts of Jammie dodgers.  That's not so bad i suppose, i mean the TV and Jammie dodgers bit, i don't normally watch much TV but being as tired as me there's not much else to do. Child 2 is perfecting her dog dancing act for Britain s got talent next year, I'm glad shes got a while because the dog won't listen to a word she says. And I've started watching the Apprentice in bed this week, while eating bowls of various bad for you snacks, if em your reading Alan Sugar i had a brilliant idea for a Mobile phone application last night............. You text a  scenario to your phone like any of the above and the app texts you back an appropriate swear word!!!! Genius.............
          Get me on the show i say ;0) and also to the guys who write  the sitcom outnumbered, I'm actually living it! I don't need to make it up.
 So if you need any ideas just read my blog (Erm its copyrighted so don't nick my true life downfalls we can negotiate a good deal. I'll do anything for 3 packets of Jammie dodgers and pickled onion monster munch at the moment  ;0) I also have a Christmas special coming up, i  don't know whats going to happen yet but it will be a true disaster I'm sure  (just read back to child 2's birth) blogged in January. That will give you some idea. :0/
         Anyway enough of my talking to imaginary people who will never read this bollocks, i have to go get in my car and go get a Macci dees im flimmin starving.

Until next time Campas xxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Worried friends and ~ 'why does it always rain on me?' ~ is it because i lied when i was 17?

................ 11 hundred and 85 secret viewers (get in) and one brave one wot has just 'come out'. Hello to Angie Henman my lovely friend and loyal follower number 4 ;0)

      Well  here i am again, this blog should be called ' Notes from insomniac island' (Bill Bryson travel writer extraordinaire hasn't done that one yet) i could cash in on that title!!, and em don't think of nicking it anyone, what comes out of my gob is immediately copyrighted.
        Its currently 2.45 A.m on Wednesday the 27th of April and i am here with the dog, Graham the evil but small cat and a packet of pickled onion monster munch. The only thing on T.V is Airline and i have a very busy day tomorrow. I am annoyed by this inability to sleep AGAIN and i blame just one person for it. Tomorrow i have to clean the house from top to bottom, attend a doctors appointment, make sure i  have the relevent monthly medication for child 2, do the shopping wash my hair and attend a 40's street party all before 1.00 pm.
Oh yeah and i have to pack 5 cases and one dog for a short break in Cornwall over the bank holiday.
The weather has been amazingly hot for a few weeks now but don't worry if your garden needs water, it will piss down by Friday :0(        How do i know this? because this is the day we go on the only 4 days holiday of the whole year. God knows what would happen if i had the pleasure of going away for a full weeks holiday, there would be tornado's and snow storms mark my words. Just To add to that do you know i have not been on a whole weeks holiday since 1997? and do not even own a passport. So may be i am just lucky to be sodding off for 4 days and 3 nights, ill tell you one day why that is. But not now because its 3.am and Airline is getting to an exciting bit, besides I've run out of monster munch, and i must make a mercy dash to the cupboard.
.............................. Airline really could not have been that exciting!, i woke up at 6.am dribbling on the dog with the cat asleep on my head. I'm not even sure i had some more monster munch :0/
            It is now a week later and as predicted Cornwall was a wash out. It was 26 degrees the weekend before!!! can you believe that? ...... i can :0(
        I feel a little cheated, this very Friday i was invited to 3 separate parties to celebrate the wedding of Wills n Kate. With wills living only a few miles from here when he was a boy i feel kinda disloyal for not partaking in the celebrations. My mums nearest neighbour is pwincess Anne, and the queen was also about a few weeks ago for a christening, she was probably driven right past my house.
 Anyway i feel a bit of a loyal Royal living around here but spent the entire day listening to it on the radio, whilst watching the sodding temperature go down on the car thermometer as the daytime sky  got darker and  darker stormier and  stormier. as we headed further down the M5 :0(
It pissed down in Padstow, hailed on our heads in Helston It was Cold in Clovelly and Boscastle was just a worry quite frankly.
          I defiantly have evil warriors from hell following me about at the moment, they are much more powerful than my Monday goblins and are most defiantly instructed by the actual Antichrist. Who i speculate is in fact female lives a few miles from here and likes to rear her ugly head every now and again just to piss me off. I'm 'so' annoyed by them that i purposely visited the Witch museum in Boscastle Sunday afternoon, where i put a spell on the leader.
I felt much better for this and so did my family for the rain was beginning to get on our wick.
I was quite confident that it would work in ridding me of the demons........... Fec!!! it actually worked......Did you read the world news Monday morning??? I think it was all down to me :0/ I was shocked and stunned!! May be i should have specified a name?, Im not well aquainted with witches spells....the spell has obviously worked but on the wrong Antichrist :0( just my bloody luck .................
        Anyway my fights with the dark arts are for insomniac island i shall bore you with them no more. This is not Harry potter although in many ways it could be.
        To be honest with you thinking back, I'm not entirely sure i should have taken child 3 in to that witch museum. :0/   Later that day (after she nearly bolted off a cliff playing silly beggars, during boy forty's video recording of trawler men) which consisted of some crap commentry on top of the windy cliff and a tiny fishing boat coming slowly in to the harbour ? :0/
We went to a public House near Bodmin for a late Sunday lunch. Child 3 proceeded to pile her plate with hideous amounts of carvery. She was then to do some kind of silly dance in the middle of the pub with her dinner whilst singing 'Sunshine and lollipops' off of the advert? Why? i have no idea may be it was some kind of Sunday sun dance? Anyway the landlord was not best pleased at this display and promptly told her off!
:0(
        It was not until we were about to leave that i noticed a white napkin on which she had been scribbling.
   Erm who's this? i asked " Its that horrible man over there!" she replied. She was leaving the picture for him on the table. I thought it may have been an apology picture or something nice like that, but then i took a closer look :0/ She em had actually played imaginary hangman with a stick man picture of  him. :0/ The words underneath being 'wot a nasty man' :0(
There he was dangling  amoungst some carrrots and peas for telling her off and not liking her song. Firmly on her get it list small sad faces like this :0(  surrounded the picture. Apparently he had to make do with the drawing as she did not have a needle and cotton to make a voodoo doll :0/ ........
         I said to child 3 you know you shouldn't really bear grudges like that its not very nice, Child 2 a young politician and future priminister of the United Kingdom then piped up " well the man did her wrong mum what do you expect?" .............I couldn't really argue with that.
        It is though a little worrying. Most parents can take their children to such museums without repercussions. My small people suck every bit of information in and store it in their creative genius minds for later use. I'm just hoping she does not do the dead rat and the shoe spell on her teacher :0/
 'They' My kids have progressively got more bonkers and imaginative as they have gone on and i worry that child 4 may be even more bonkers, he's probably in there right now plotting a shit load of mad stuff. That's right child 4 my well kept secret, that power cut back in march has a lot to answer for :0/ He / She (may be both) :0/ is, (hopefully is and not are) due on Christmas day ! of all days it would have been that one wouldn't it??!! Ah well that should scare the shit out of the dark side. Ill just have to call upon the real father Christmas this year to help out with the presents and the wrapping etc.
        There was a joke a few weeks ago on facebook when someone commented on my status following a day where i actually ate for England for the entire day. It said that boy 40 was trying to fatten me up for Christmas! ........... well he's certainly done that!
         Well campas after that little bombshell i don't have too much more to say, only that if you see child 3 she has changed her name to Lisa. She really wanted to buy a Sponge Bob pen in Clovelly and they only had the name Lisa left :0/  A good enough reason to change your name by deed poll? i dunno.
 Also please do not mention the cleaning your feet fiasco in port Issac. She's On the gifted childrens list may be but we argued for 10 whole minutes that it would not work if she tried to clean her feet in the sea from the wet sand in which they were incased. Because they would get sandy again on the way back :0/
In the end she tried it and her feet were of course the same as they were before she cleaned them :0/ Doh! Child 3 is embarrased now that this was not obvious to her genius mind, i have it on video, Video i cannot show to my own mum now because of the rude joke i made about Boy forty sucking a fishermans friend as we got out of the car in Port Issac (he had a sore throat) it was very funny and i laughed at myself for ages. Well we didnt see Bob Martin either but took a photo of his surgery.
         Just quickly i hope you will be proud of me because i did not status update for 4 days on facebook which quite frankly gave me the shakes:0( it did not go unnoticed though and i have copy and pasted my friend Claire's Status update off of yesterday. Its nice to know my friends worry about me.................... as it appears do many others :0/
        
                      

                    Claire Parker
  • Whats happened to Mrs P Aka 'Lil Rach' She appears to have been abducted by pixies!!!

    • Lisa Stevens was just thinking the same thing. Logged on for the daily cheer myself up and read her daily disaster, only to discover shes missing in action and I only have my own misery to chortle at for the day! Sadly the chortle is awol too!! x
      5 hours ago ·

    • Claire Parker I'm starting to fear the worst, maybe the white coat peeps have finally caught up with her, I knew she couldn't get away with the weekly blog of mentalness for too long! x
      3 hours ago ·

    • Lisa Stevens Can just see her being dragged out of Brimsconia in her straight jacket still trying to clutch her karaoke mike singing "they're coming to take me away haha hehe!" x
      3 hours ago ·

    • Claire Parker What a picture :)
      59 minutes ago ·
  •  See what i have to put up with ;0)
    Anyway i did not lie when i was 17 it was all true!! I must go now the tesco man has just arrived with his lorry load of Prawn / mayonnaise sandwiches, Piccalilli jars and hideous amounts of Pickled onion monster munch
  • Until next time Campas don't do anything i wouldn't do and to be honest i cant do anything now apart from get fat and moan turrahh ;0) xxx