Today i write to you from Insomniac island, i spend most of my nights here now :0( But tonight i am here as a volunteer. There are snooze boats of what i could probably drift off on, but it seems that my brain is again intent on filling the world with another extract of literary crap, so i have chosen to stay.
Any how I'm far too busy in the daytime to write crap such as this.
This week the mass clear up operation has commenced. Not the flood damage clear up oh no 'that' little baby was last week. I'm beginning to see why i spend all of my time on the island now, its much less stressful!! This week was the beginning of the great room swap over :0( ......... I blame myself entirely for the confusing piles of crap some dating back to 1824 :0( and the general scatty un keptness of the whole place, i think its the artist in me and sometimes i wish she would piss off! Does anyone remember Mr Trebas off of the life of grime?? I feel i may be related to him :0(
4 Days ago i started taking apart my studio !!! 4 bloody days, i started with a big bin bag, I'm moving it downstairs you see so child the 4th can have a bedroom. It is i have to say driving me insane! The room downstairs is also much smaller :0/ Boy 40 has already told me i must keep the new room tidy. He's the sorter of the household and if it was not for him the whole place would explode!! .... much like a tsunami it would engulf the whole of the village and cascade down in to town knocking people out with various unwanted house hold items, un opened letters and crap i have kept since the 80's.
I sometimes wonder if there is may be some kind of medication you can get for being me?? its hard work in every area, everything i do or look at ends up in a pickle of some sort :0/ For example, My friend Corrinne has just opened up a shop in town, its got some of my stuff in it, mainly hand painted tiles. A man walked in a few weeks ago rather fancying some kitchen / bathroom tiles of what i had painted. As there were not enough in the shop i agreed to come out of retirement and paint some for him.
Easy i thought i have all of the paints I've got blank tiles blah blah.
hmmmm Nah that's just not me i cant sit down at my desk take a tile some paints and just get on with it!!!
Reaching for said paints (ceramic paints £4.00 a pot). they were gone :0( i must admit the hole (work space) on my desk in what i work gets smaller each time i use it :0( The whole desk is kinda like one of those 2 p machines you would find in a seaside arcade, stuff just gets shoved off as more stuff gets put on
:0( ...... and you never win anything. So this is what happened to the paints they had been shoved off of the back, by some catalogues selling paint ironically. This would also be 'ok' if it wasn't happening to me!, i could just get under the desk and pick them up. But of course that would be far to simple, oh yes it would be much better if the paint lids had not been put on properly, and the paint pots had fallen over, started tipping when the desk hole space was bigger, pouring down on to the radiator and the cream carpet below :0( A secret what i could have kept from boy 40 for years!! but not now now the room was to be emptied...... he will not be pleased.
Not only annoyed as my profit was slowly going down the drain, (or the radiator) but i now have a multi coloured carpet.
Following a whole wasted day purchasing more paints a whole day because child 1 2 and 3 were involved and also had to go to shops they wanted to go to, i returned home.
It was late now and after dinner but due to the timing of the deadline i proceeded to paint the backgrounds. The said tiles were all laid out neatly on my desk to dry over night,, rather like the leather from the elves and the shoe maker book, Only no elves came in the night to to finish them
. Oh no Asbo cat the great paid a visit, she must have entered the room when they were of a tacky state of dry, i could tell this by the cat arse hole print on the middle one. The rest of them looked like i had scattered them prettily with black pubes what i had carefully collected and selected that very day to add extra character. :0(
Disastrous was not the word, who ever would want furry bathroom tiles?? apart from Mr Trebas. Even i could not get away with this and so i had to do them all again, my profit was now going in to the negative, but hey I'm quite used to that.
Well Campas that was the very day before the cosmos decided to smile upon me and give me some good luck. Remember the good luck day i had a few months ago? and the one in 1997?? well its happenening again and i think I'm on a roll!!, if you would like to know what the cosmos can actually do for you, ask Noel Edmund's he's the one who told me its secret and for that i am very grateful...
Following a 3 hour wait on the tax credits help line which i had to phone back twice because the phone battery's kept going ( that wasn't very lucky i admit) I discover some good news. Thanks to the shitty recession boy 40 and i have earned the equivalent to what they paid cleaners in Dickens times in the last few years, so we are owed some back dated cash!!!! its only gonna pay off a small piece of over draft but its better than a kick up the arse and made me very happy.
To add to this i would like to Marry Martin Lewis and to thank him for banging on about ppi so much!!
Being a victim of the recession fall out i spend much time on Insomniac island dreaming up rich quick schemes. I have at least 20 dragons den ideas, and 40 odd money making propositions which need a bit of tweaking. One particular night i decided to take Martin Lewis's advise and i wrote a letter to my payment protection insurance company.
For years i have been telling boy 40 to sort it out, its crap and doesn't work for self employed people like us. He has nothing to do with anything in an envelope though and appears to be allergic to opening any post, I'm not sure if he even knows who we bank with :0/ So i took it upon myself to sort it out, i wrote a simple letter just asking for my money back............ Following the 'piss off your stupid' letter i received from the Halifax re the home insuring flood thang. I did not hold out much hope..........
They sent back a letter!! and they are making a full refund!!! omg this surely is the beginning of my good luck life!! i shall be doing the lottery this week and i fully expect to win it!!
..................... Sorry it appears i took the snooze boat from the island at this point! It is now 3 days later and i am pleased to say that child 4 now has a nursery!! No double wardrobe that's still full of fitness contraptions that i and boy 40 will never use. but hey you cant have everything.
Child 4 by the way is a little girl totally outnumbering boy 40 and child 1, in fact child 1 is rumoured to be looking for a new home, but he was only joking he will never leave his mummy!
The scan went well and child 4 reminded me a lot of the others ... gobby. She spent most of her time eating or singing which i couldn't be sure, i told you she'd be just like the others look at the mouth on her
Child 3 is still not sure about a new baby i may have to get her some counselling, she's trying her hardest to work out a way where she can still be the youngest :0/
I actually caught child 3 in a cute girly moment this week, this is an odd occurrence, being a tom boy she spends most of her time in the mud. Walking past her bedroom i heard some singing, there she was sitting cross legged on the floor singing Oh Danny boy whilst mending the wheel on her pram. It was a sweet gorgeous little girly moment of what i will cherish, the moment ended when i looked in to the pram. There led her monkey with half of its head missing, it apparently happened in a hairdressing accident :0/ the rest of him was bandaged up like it had been part of a terrible experiment :0/
Oh well that's all i can expect really, i didn't want to ruin my ideal moment and so have since put the monkey out of my mind.
Child 3 has also been up to her usual tricks this week, just one of them being the creation of a fake social blunder to amuse herself when we were out.
Being girls as they are it is my duty to take them to the toilet every five minutes when we are out, boy 40 finds this hilarious as he sits and watches me up and down like a yo yo whilst he's drinking beer.
On the 4th toilet trip child 3 was in the cubical laughing like a hyena. I could not imagine what was so funny, she was by herself in the toilet ??
I then realised what she was up to when she strolled back in to the restaurant with 2 metres of toilet paper hanging from the back of her trousers :0( It got the reaction she was looking for as she waltzed past the tables of diners.
She then made a visit to condiment island to get some sauces of which she did not want, just to cover the other half of the place.......... i think i need to get her in to stage school. I am quite sure though that everyone knew exactly of the fake faux pas by the way she kept bending over in hysterics to herself :0? So I'm sorry if you were there that day and did not find it at all funny .
The next day i had to see the consultant at the maternity hospital, this is just routine because of child 2's heart problems. The consultant however spent most of her time laughing at child 2's birth story!! (its in the January section of the blog if you need to cheer yourselves up) She then asked if i would be having the baby in stroud, i said yes she said 'what anywhere in stroud?' I did laugh too i must admit and I'm glad i have entertained the NHS with my misfortunes. To be fair though the NHS has paid out thousands for child 2 so i do owe them one. The latest episode being in this week. Attempt 4 to give her some much needed injections :0( this time sponge bob n Patrick took her, aka Nanny and Grampy. It was a military operation, i carefully selected clothes for that day a short sleeved t.shirt ( her tactic last time was to zip up her fleece to her chin and hold the cuffs tight) Anesthetic cream on at 8.30 precisely. Story told about how grampy needs her to take him to the doctors for his flu jab because he is scared! Good lord it worked !!! she even offered to share some of the magic numbing cream. Even the staff at the doctors were flabbergasted, they normally put out a four minute warning. I myself warn the town to baton down the hatches and lock all of the doors.
Well Grampy can take her again, she has a blood test coming up and the dreaded MRI still has to be done :0(
For a treat they took child 1 2 and 3 shopping to buy them some presents, one present being a sponge bob monopoly game for child 3.
I'm sorry to say i have been in jail now for 3 days!! I just 'can't' roll that darn double ;0) Its not so bad though cos whilst the cheating and stealing of bankers money is going on on the floor, i can lie on the sofa eating crisps and watching TV ;0)
I'm off now i seem to have been rabbiting on for hours sorry if you are bored!! but please come back next time. I shall leave you with a picture of the finished tiles (without the black fur) just so you don't think me completely unprofessional :0)
TTFN
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